Scientists at the Hamster Institute of Technology (HIT) have recently postulated that the known universe may actually be a three dimensional pool table. This theory was also documented in the well known scientific journal JAM (Journal of American Misinformation) by a consortium of international scientists.
The theory seems preposterous at first but initial scepticism should be re-evaluated against the fact that most, if not all, heavenly bodies are perfect spheres and that, in addition, there are black holes (pockets) at regular intervals in the fabric of space.
Central to this theory, of course, is the radical assumption that the entity we call the Creator has someone to play against, but this is considered likely because as we all know everything in nature has an opposite eg. up/down, yin/yang, male/female.
HIT Chief Unclear Scientist David Edward Malone explains that as far as they can see at this stage in the proceedings, the creator has apparently won the lag and executed his break (also known as the big bang). The make of his cosmic cue is so far a mystery although some scientists are hypothesizing that the tip may well be a milk-dud, pointing to the so-called 'Milky Way' as a convincing argument. Others poo-poo this theory and maintain that the Milky Way is merely billiard chalk or talc dust created by quantum chaos.
Once the universe stops expanding ie. the balls stop rolling, and always assuming he sank a planet and the balls are not in an entangled state, the creator's first shot is likely to be the one ball (yellow ball... also known as Sol) into a corner pocket. And, since a supreme being likely plays rotation, the number two ball (blue ball... ie. Earth) will be next and then Mars (the red planet) and so on. A complete game will mean the end of life as we know it, of course, but the scientific community is confident they'll rack 'em again for a second game.
It's likely that it'll be a race to infinity...
May 9, 2007
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